


Gladiolus

by spike_spiegels



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Gen, Hopeful Ending
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-10-15
Updated: 2018-10-15
Packaged: 2019-08-02 15:24:13
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,011
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16307738
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/spike_spiegels/pseuds/spike_spiegels
Summary: Eren and Armin continue to endure the Curse. Mikasa prepares herself for the end.





	Gladiolus

**Author's Note:**

> This is pretty much "If I Were in Charge of Attack on Titan's Ending: The Fanfiction." Touches on details past the Return to Shiganshina arc, so do beware of spoilers.

He had looked so peaceful in his final moments.

It was so unlike the Eren she had known all her life, but every time her eyes made contact with his, she was certain that it was him. His body had withered and his once determined smile had faded into a tired one. Although he kept them closed most of the time, his eyes were the one thing the curse could not take from him. They were still defiant and curious, still bright with hope.

At the beginning of his thirteenth and final year as a Titan Shifter, Eren could no longer walk. He was bedridden, much to his dismay, and it took many long weeks for the survivors of the 104th Training Squad to help him accept that this would be where he would live out the remainder of his life. They took turns keeping him company, assuring him that everything was fine and silently carrying him back to bed after attempting to crawl outside thousands of times. It hurt every single one of them, watching as their once fearless and impulsive friend dug his nails into the wood panels and dragged his uncooperative body across the floor until he passed out, defeated.

Eventually, he gave up on trying to leave his bed. He would instead ask his friends about their day and even gave them a smile as they said their goodbyes.

“Why is he so...happy now?” Connie asked Armin after a particularly eventful conversation with Eren. “He’s been all smiles recently, I mean, he even laughed today.”

Armin gazed wistfully pass his comrade, envisioning his best friend sitting up in his bed and staring out the window beside him. Besides his friends’ stories, it was the only thing that kept Eren connected to the outside world.

“I think he’s realized that he doesn’t want his weak state to be what we remember him by,” he finally answered.

Mikasa sat beside him on his final day. He was unusually quiet as he faded in and out of consciousness. Mikasa continued to tell him about her day. She mentioned how she had run into Levi and Hange while on her way to him and how she found out that Jean was being sent on a mission to Marley and would not be returning for a while. When Eren didn’t respond, she knew his time was coming to an end. She balled the fabric of her skirt into her fists as she screwed her eyes shut. She wasn’t ready for it. She wasn’t ready to lose her brother, her protector. How would she be able to move forward without him by her side?

“Mikasa?”

Her eyes snapped open. Eren’s eyes were open too, if only a bit, and they were directed at the window.

There were so many things she wanted to tell him. She wanted to tell him to keep fighting, just as he had always done. She wanted to tell him that she was scared. She wanted to tell him that she loved him.

All her thoughts got jumbled up in her head as she tried to decide what needed to be said first. Before she could decide, Eren raised his index finger feebly, pointing towards the window.

“Can you...can you take me out there?”

His request was nothing more than a whisper, but Mikasa obliged, lifting him gently out of his bed.

She placed him beneath the tree behind his house and sat beside him. The wind stirred the grass and the branches above them swayed, leaving patches of sunlight below. Mikasa felt a bit nostalgic and Eren must of felt it too.

“It’s like when we were kids.”

He gave a soft smile, tangling his fingers with the blades of grass. She nodded in agreement and give him a smile of her own.

They sat there for awhile in silence. Eren continued to smile the whole time and even laughed when the wind blew his hair across his face. Mikasa swept the brown strands back into their place. He looked just as he did back then. Contented and just a bit naive.

She felt a wave of sadness come over her then. They would never have a moment like this again. This was the end.

She felt his hand on hers before she realized the tears welling at the corners of her eyes. Eren’s gaze was still fixated on what lay in the distance, but he didn’t have to see her to know she was scared. She was surprised by his hand’s warmth, but even more surprised by the firm squeeze her gave hers.

“Don’t be afraid.” His voice was quiet, but it was sure. “You won’t be alone. Armin, Jean, Connie...they’ll be there for you.”

Mikasa thought about their friends. They had been there since the beginning and if Eren believed that they would be there until the end as well, then that’s what she would believe too.

“The sky’s so blue...it’s kinda like the ocean.”

Mikasa felt the tears dripping from her chin. She took a deep breath and squeezed his hand hard. She braced herself.

His hand was still.

-

They buried him near the ocean. Mikasa figured that’s what he would have wanted considering it was his last words. No one objected.

His funeral was small. Other than Armin and Mikasa, only three others were in attendance. Connie sniffled quietly to himself. Levi and Hange stood in silence. As Mikasa’s eyes moved from one solemn face to another, she couldn’t help but think that Eren deserved more than this. If it weren’t for him, everyone on Paradis would cease to exist. He fought for countless lives and only five of them gave a damn enough to show up to his burial. Armin insisted that Eren would have preferred this over anything else.

Mikasa could barely bring herself to look at Armin. She pictured his face behind closed eyelids, wondering how horrified he looked as he thought about his own impending death. But as she turned to face her friend, she saw no such fear. All she saw was an expression of such serene peace that she was taken aback.

It was the same face Eren had made as they laid beneath the tree.

She couldn’t help be feel amused by the contrast. While it had taken Eren all thirteen years to come to terms with his fate, Armin had already accepted his from the start.

Mikasa knew there was no reason to worry anymore.

-

A few years passed and Armin was buried beside his friend.

Even though they had been buried so far out, Mikasa made the effort to visit them at least once a week. During her visits, she would talk to them about the mundane things she had experienced since the last time they were able to catch up. The conversations were short at first, but after a few months, Mikasa had learned how to stretch a story about how she couldn’t decide on which apple to buy at the fruit stand from midday to sunset.

In her mind’s eye, she imagined the three of them sitting around the table in her kitchen. As she spoke, Armin nodded his head, silently cataloging the details in his mind, and laughing when Mikasa discussed a topic to death. Eren, who sat directly across of her, would shake his head in disagreement with every chore and errand she brought up.

“You could be doing something better with your time,” she imagined him saying with a small huff.

Despite his objections, Mikasa would go on until the moon replaced the sun in the sky. When it was time to leave, she would say goodnight to the two and excuse herself from the table. As she left, she could still hear them talking amongst themself, Eren no doubt telling an embellished tale about himself while Armin rolled his eyes and kept his pointed corrections to himself.

Mikasa continued to walk, her vision dissolving around her, until the only sound she could hear was the waves breaking on the shore and she was alone again.

-

It had only been the three of them for so long. So, when Mikasa was greeted with a figure standing at Eren and Armin’s graves one day, she froze in her tracks. She watched from her place at the end of the path as the visitor kneeled down and placed a bouquet of gladioli at the base of each headstone.

Despite the distance between them and the years that had past, Mikasa knew exactly who it was. The long yet neat brown hair and winged emblem embroidered on the shoulder of his coat seemed to give it all away.

“Jean.”

She had not meant to say his name aloud, but after so much time sharing her every thought with her brother and friend’s gravestones, her control over her brain to mouth filter had waned.

He turned to her slowly, as if he had known all along she had been there. And yet his eyes betrayed his solemn stature as they lit up in excitement.

“Mikasa?” It was more of an exclamation than a question. “You’ve grown out your hair.”

She could not help the small breath of laughter that slipped from her lips at his last remark. After so many years, that’s all he could say? It was so very much like Jean.

“Yes. No reason to keep it short anymore now that I’m retired.”

“Well, it looks good on you.”

Mikasa approached her old comrade and stood beside him, examining the two long shadows they cast over the graves. She felt Jean’s eyes on her as they stood in silence.

“The gladiolus,” Mikasa finally said, turning towards Jean. “It represents strength and integrity.”

He nodded. “There are no two better words to describe them.”

Mikasa agreed.

“How was your mission on the mainland?”

“To sum it up in a word: long.”

That managed to earn another quiet chuckle from Mikasa. She couldn’t remember the last time she had laughed so much, but then again, it had been a long time since she had a real conversation with a living person.

That was when an image sprang to mind. It was her kitchen table again, but this time the occupants were not Eren and Armin. Jean was there, explaining every single event that had taken place since his first day on the mainland. Connie sat beside him, an eyebrow cocked in suspicion with every detail Jean shared, ready to call his comrade on any BS he could pick up on. Levi and Hange sat in silence, but they listened intently.

Mikasa had always thought that her visions with Eren and Armin had been enough for her. They kept the loneliness at bay just fine and because of that she didn’t complain. But as she stood there beside Jean who was now doing in depth about the mission and the evening breeze blew, Mikasa realized that she wanted more. She wanted something tangible.

She knew that they were not going to come back, no matter how many times she visited their graves and imagined their conversations. They were gone.

Mikasa remembered what Eren had said beneath that tree all those years ago. She was not alone. There were still people on this earth that she could lean on and all she had to do was reach out.

So, she decided that she was done sharing her stories with Eren and Armin. She would save them all until they could meet again. Until then, she would turn to her friends that still remained beside her.

“Hang on.”

Jean paused mid sentence, tilting his head in question. “Is something wrong?”

Mikasa shook her head. “No, I just...I was just thinking we could continue this conversation at my house. It’s getting cold and I’m sure Connie, Levi and Hange would want to hear about the mission too.”

Jean blinked. He thought for awhile before he gave Mikasa a lopsided smirk that brought her back to their recruit days.

“Sounds like a great idea.”


End file.
